January 24, 2013

Crutches and Comfort Zones

Hello and welcome to the absolute best place to read a rant/essay that will inspire you to think about your life and decisions! Maybe I'm just a little biased.

Either way, I wanted to share with you some more of my thoughts, so here goes. I was sitting in church last night, and while my pastor was talking about getting saved and growing closer to God, a thought came to my mind. I thought of that night when my brother was killed, and how I woke up around an hour before, but had no idea what was wrong. I went back to sleep, and when I woke up again, my whole life had changed.

My emotions had definitely changed- I hadn't dealt with death of anyone close to me at all at that point, and I didn't know how to process it, so I shut down. I dealt with children, I kept to myself, and I gave hugs that had absolutely no emotion behind them. I got pissed off at my dad who kept wailing because he was being selfish and acting like he was the only one who was hurting. My mom asked me to vacuum for heaven's sake. But eventually I grew out of that state of emotional immaturity and had another 'awakening."

I think a lot of people are clingy, but some hide it much better than others. Everyone has had a crutch at some point, whether it was staying at home with Mom and Dad, an addiction, not trying because you're afraid you'll fail, or just refusing to go anywhere out of your comfort zone. And we all cling to something. It makes us feel safe, and we don't want to leave that one thing. When something pushes us away from our object, feeling, or situation of choice, we immediately feel uncomfortable and we want to go back.

But there comes a point when you have to choose to walk a few steps away and see how it feels. Get used to it there, then push yourself a little bit farther. This is basically how you grow as a person. However, there are always those people who are Linus and never, ever, ever leave their blanket anywhere. Point in case, people who never want to grow up. You know them, or at least you know about them. These are the people that cling to being young to hard that they don't want to get a job, they don't want to feed their children, they don't want to have protected sex, and they definitely do not want to have the responsibilities that they do. They do immature things like get into fights at bars or clubs, switch romantic partners frequently, and often foster addictions. They need babysitters, but they're older than I am. And I want to shout at them to look at the situation they have put themselves in. It is not their mother's fault that they got pregnant young and now have four hungry mouths to feed. They chose to do that, and now, as a physical adult, they refuse to take responsibility for their actions and own up to the fact that they are forced to eat the humble pie they made themselves.

Please let me be clear- it is human to depend on things. It is also human to make mistakes. However, we become inneffective and undesirable to others when we continually cling to our blanket and forget that our mistakes are our choices and we have to learn from them.

So, my challenge to you this Thursday is to look at what is holding you back. Do not be afraid to change into something better.

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