Actually, my singular ex, Carl, lives in my city so I didn't get to run away from him. If I could have, I would have. I don't like being close friends with exes. It's too easy for the feelings you had once to pop right back up again and you can't ever get yourself back into 'single mode.' If there's never a break in between couple Ben and Jane and just friends Ben and Jane, one or both of them will not be able to make the disconnect and will get hurt again.
That being said, I'm not a jerk to Carl. If I see him in Wal-Mart I say hi and ask how he is. But if he messages me on facebook I am clear and concise. I don't want to encourage travelling down that road again. Once is good enough for me. If you can't make it work with me the first time, I'd better be able to see a clear and obvious difference in either you or I before I sign up for round two of heartbreak.
I was discussing something with a freshman friend of mine- being picky. He asked how long I'd been single and I answered and it turned out he'd been unattached for a while too. He said I made him feel less alone in his solidarity. He also said he didn't feel like he should waste his time with someone who was just okay. I feel the same way! I like the way I am now. I don't want to be pressured to change from elsewhere and I don't want to have to deal with clinginess or jealousy right now.
If I like you, I'm going to make darn well sure that you're going to be worth my trouble. I don't do this halfhearted crap that some people put up with. I'm a gradual all or nothing kind of girl.
So my challenge to you this month is to look at yourself and the standards that you subconsciously or consciously set. Does the person you're with measure up? Are you bending over a dealbreaker and gonna strain your back? Or if you're single like myself, I'd like to encourage you to not lower your standards. You have them for a reason. Keep them high no matter how badly you want a back massage. Trust me, I know that feeling. But don't give in! You are strong! You are human! You can choose this for yourself. You are woman (or maybe man- do I have any manreaders our there?) so let me hear you roar!