April 24, 2013

A Particularly Shameful Subject (I Can't Believe I Have to Discuss This)

I feel led to write about myself tonight. I usually don't, because then I am forced to mentally separate my identity, my situation, and my feelings. The song that goes "Even if the healing doesn't come and life falls apart, my world becomes undone, you are God, you are good, forever faithful one- even if the healing doesn't come," is on my heart.

Tonight my cousin was talking about girls discussing being on birth control when they're not in committed relationships on Facebook, calling these girls whores.
I am not a whore. I am not in a committed relationship... I am a virgin and a Christian, and I am on birth control.

You see, I have this syndrome that is usually referred to as PCOS. The acronym stands for a sometimes inaccurate name based upon one symptom- polycystic ovaries. Not all people with PCOS have all symptoms. In fact, some only have one or two. Not many people know about the syndrome itself. It's not a disease though. You can't treat the PCOS itself, just your symptoms. Nobody's really sure why it starts. They think it might be genetic, but no promises. My issue is hormonal, so for me, my treatment includes things that help my body better process, produce, or carry out procedures or things that it can't on its own. So basically I take birth control, and a medication that makes me more insulin sensitive, and one that tells my acne to chill out (and also turns my arm and leg hair white.)

But what bothered me most was that I would be automatically lumped in with my overly sexually active peers were I to publicly proclaim that I'm on birth control.

When my doctor first prescribed it, my mom's first reaction was to worry about what the kids at school would say. I laughed- there should be pretty much no doubt about my love life because it doesn't exist. But then I see a comment or hear a comment like my cousin's, and it makes me wonder how far people step outside of their own business.

Let me go ahead and say it- your reputation is important. You shouldn't sleep around. But just because you're on the pill and you don't have a dedicated man in no way means that you're even having sex in the first place. So before you open your mouth or move your typing little fingers again, my conservative or slut-shaming friend, let me remind you that I am not the only one. I know multiple people with PCOS. I know multiple people with other endocrine disorders. I know multiple people who just want to be safe in case something goes wrong.

The pill that I take daily is not a scarlett letter. It should not be taboo. It is a medication used to regulate or fake certain hormones, and a side affect or sometimes purpose of that is pregnancy prevention.
So before you call me a whore or tell me my insurance (no matter where it comes from) shouldn't cover my birth control, perhaps you would rather me to develop some cervical or ovarian cancer. Because for me, those are possibilities. I didn't make myself this way, but I know God has a purpose for it.
Stop throwing the word slut around. I'm tired of hearing it. Stop calling girls whores. I don't want to hear it. And don't you dare tell me my medical treatment makes me something I'm not. Stop acting like you know everything for just a few minutes, okay? Take on another perspective. PCOS is a part of my body. There is no cure. But I should not ever have to justify my medical needs to you or anyone else. The pill does not turn a woman into a whore.

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